Those Dreaded Twenty-somes

When I turned 21, I thought I had finally got my shit figured out. But no. No one warned me that a second puberty hits you somewhere in your mid-twenties.

May be scientists don't know about it yet. I've definitely never read anything about this phenomenon in health science education textbooks. But that doesn't mean it isn't real. In fact, it's so real that it hits you in the face on a beautiful autumn afternoon when the sun is glistening gold, and keeps you awake eating half a pound of cherry tomatoes at 2am on a Monday morning.

This crisis is of an existential nature. Books and novels have been written on the theme (Most of which I do not have the time to read anymore, because that's what college is about- turning you into a scholarly article-digesting nutcase!) Scientists don't know about this yet. Psychologists do, but they pretend not to because the DSM-V is not out yet (Anyone care to share that shit on Piratebay?). Your parents forgot to warn you of it because they were too busy dealing with their own shit, which they happen to have a label for- midlife crisis.

[I use the word "shit" too much? Speaking of which, I promised to pinch myself every time I used to word "like" unnecessarily =) Yeay to me and to good language!]

The ugly L-word

Has anyone ever told you that you shouldn't fall in love when you are a teenager? They were right, but they didn't tell you the whole truth (Is a half-truth as bad as a lie?). The real truth is, falling in love is a bad idea. Period. If you're going to fall in love, you're going to have a bad time.

Oh but look, after taking research class after research class I still haven't learned the rules of my trade. How can I make a generalized statement about something without defining it first?

So, what does it mean to fall in love? Constant butterflies and giggles and blushing cheeks? Happiness? Good sex? What does it ultimately boil down to?

I am old enough to know what love is (at least I hope so). It's this unconditional bond you cannot wish away; this affection and commitment that does not change, except on a few bad days and a few good days. I love my mom. Like that. But falling in love? Dafuqs that, right??

Bills and shit

Of course love is not only shit that hits you in the face when you reach your mid-twenties. Suddenly you've got bills to pay. And groceries to buy. And an immigration status to protect. Yes, that shits as real as it gets.

Then there is the question of choosing a career path. And you thought picking subjects at Ordinary Levels was hard. Suddenly, you see the expanse of the rest of your life before your eyes, and you do not know which color to paint it in. Do you really wish to tread the path less traveled?

Disillusionment and Fear

And when this cloud settles over you, shit gets real. You wake up afraid. You watch work pile up, graduation draw nearer, and still have no idea what you are doing. And when a friend asks you if you want to throw your homework down and eat spicy garlic chicken wings and wander about Walmart, you say yes. Because you'd rather ignore that clutter and noise in your head and drown it out with means of instant gratification. 

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